Things That Make You Go "Whatever..."

¦My beloved father was married to my mother for fifty-five years before he passed away. During one of those years, one of my brothers asked him if he had any secrets as to how such a lengthy marriage can be accomplished. His reply was simple: "Well, son, I spent the first ten years of marriage trying to figure out your mother. I spent the next trying to figure out why I was trying to figure out your mother. After that I said forget it and decided to go along for the ride."

It's days like today that make me look at NASCAR in much the same fashion. You can't figure it out, and you can't figure out why you're trying to figure it out. Might as well go along for the ride, although in this case a fair amount of head-shaking is in order.

First up is the case of Carl Edwards at Dover. As has been oft reported, during post-race inspection the right rear panel was found to be too low. Now, had this past weekend been a race with the regular car at a superspeedway or restrictor plate track, there might have been some slight advantage gained by this. However, this was at Dover, a short-ish track, and it was a CORN can rollout. Nothing to be gained. In fact, it probably made the car handle even worse than normal, which for the CORN can is saying a lot. And, be reminded that the car passed pre-race inspection. And yet again, turn back the clock to February of this year when a similar situation came about on Jeff Gordon's car after he had won one of the Daytona 500 qualifying races. Since it was determined to the satisfaction of all including some of Jeff Gordon's fellow drivers such as Jeff Burton that the reason for the right rear panel being too low was an unintentional part failure, no penalty was assessed except for having Jeff Gordon start at the back of the field for the Great American Race.

And so what does NASCAR do about Edwards?

Twenty-five point fine and $25K out of crew chief Bob Osborne's pocket.

For something that in all likelihood happened courtesy of Greg Biffle's post-race congratulatory car-to-car tap.

It's not worth trying to figure out.

Another NASCAR item not worth trying to figure out: why it's making such a big whoopeedoo over Coors Light becoming the official beer of the sports starting next year. Has anyone in the sport's history ever bought or used anything because it was the official whatever of NASCAR? Because their favorite or at least a favored driver endorsed something and/or was sponsored by same, yes. But NASCAR itself? Hoo-hooing this is the sports establishment equivalent of a guy walking into a bar, announcing he just changed his own oil, and expecting a response of beautiful women throwing themselves at him while clutching themselves and screaming "yes yes!"

Whatever, NASCAR. Whatever.

FYI: it's the same deal with using body spray, guys. Sorry. Hot hardbodied honeys will not start tearing at your clothing if you put some on. Hate to kill the fantasy, but there it is. Now maybe if you try using Hai Karate...

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